Transitioning

Transition. It’s almost become a dirty word to me. I’ve been stuck in “transitions” for the last 10yrs. Maybe longer but this particular one is taking its toll. We’ll get to how it all started 10yrs ago later but for now, I want to talk about the current one. 

It started about a year ago. It’s taken a few years for my pride to lesson enough to let people help me. Especially my folks. For so long my husband and I kept everything we went through extremely private and attempted everything on our own. Finally we let my folks in more. A little over a year ago my Mama was healed of stage IV breast cancer that had metastasized all over her body. That’s kinda how we got here. 

After her healing we slowly let them in more of how much I am struggling with my health. They stepped up, not only because she was better but in the year she was sick I found how much I love them and enjoyed their presence. That old saying that, you’ll hate your parents from around 14-22 is true. But if you’re fortunate enough they can become your closest friends and comfort. 

Now, about 5-6yrs ago my parents had become snowbirds. Spending 3-4 months at the ocean from Dec-March. This was good. We enjoyed the visit we would take down during this time. Before my Mama got sick, they’d talked about moving. That was a great idea, then. All that changed when she got sick, they decided to be snowbirds for the time. Then everything changed. She got better, I got worse. I needed and loved them being here so much. Mama on bad days just to be “here” and Dad taking me to all my doctors appointments because I didn’t need to drive. 

Then the last 8 months transpired. They kept saying they wanted to move to the ocean. I kept saying to do that they had to put their house up for sale. What was I thinking?? Lol. Their house sold within a couple of weeks and Sept 1st they were at the ocean. My latest transition started. I felt lost, my peace and joy gone. My husband and I were on our own again in this journey. 

Don’t get me wrong, we’re happy for their new journey. I just felt like things would never be normal again. Emotionally I’ve been holding it together with one bobby pin. It’s selfish, right? It’s just after almost losing her to cancer our relationships changed. I hate her & Dad not being 15mins away. The dog and I could run over. I miss my time bonding with my Dad. It took so long to get to this place with them. But I know God is still good. He will take care of me. 

For now, I’m enjoying the trips down to the ocean. Our relationships are moving to a different level. Plus I’m also getting to watch my youngest niece grow and change on these trips and visits. I couldn’t be more blessed. 

Thankful & Blessed

Sitting here with my carmel apple coffee looking out over our first frosty morning of the year, I started thinking about how thankful and blessed I am. I know most people like to do "Thankful Thursday" but this Sunday morning I am feeling truly Thankful & Blessed for the people and things in my life.

This morning I woke in a warm bed I was wrapped up by a loving husband, and when my feet hit the floor the room was warm, my coffee was brewing.
My next decision was only what to fix for breakfast.
Somewhere in my hometown there is someone who will wake up in the cold alone with nothing to eat, sadly most days I would take this morning for granted.

I looked out my backdoor to see a glow from my Nanna's to see God had given her to me yet another day.
This morning, someone has already lost a loved one, and I still have mine.

I have a home. Not a house, a home. There is such a difference that people don't even realize. A house is a structure.  Mine may not be grand in splendor, but I have a home that is filled with love, warmth and comfort.
Someone today is living in a big house on a hill with material things but no love to fill it. 

I have a loving family who is supportive no what my decisions. 
Today someone's family will call them names, and leave them on their own to fight their battle.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up early, go to a job that even though I hate some days and love others I have.  I will put in my 40hrs this week and come home with a paycheck.
While someone else is home without a job, struggling to survive.

I have friends who are there no matter what is going on.  Friends I can call night or day.  Friends I can confide in.  Who I can laugh with, cry with.
Someone out there has no one.  They are alone, crying, and fighting a battle they don't know if they will survive.

I have Freedom.  I live in a country where I can still worship freely.  Speak freely.  Live freely. 
I have been blessed with soldiers past like my Papaws who fought for my freedom.  I am blessed because somewhere today in another country and land there is still a soldier there fighting to protect my freedom.
He is giving his life, and family for my freedom.
While somewhere, someone is living in bondage.  

I'm being blessed by this valley I have been in for sometime now,because I know He is working on this pile of clay. Molding me and making me what I need to be.

This morning I will walk into God's house and feel His arms wrap around me with His love. I will lift my arms to him in worship. I will sing praises from my lips. I will leave feeling renewed and safe in His love.
While somewhere, someone has not met Him yet, and are dying inside.


Thank You Jesus for Your love and mercy upon me.  Thank You for the blessings I take for granted daily but You continue to pour out upon me.  Thank You for letting me know I can come to You day or night, no matter how big or little my problem or worry is.   
Thank You for one day allowing me to be baptized in Your Holy Name Jesus, and covering all my sins in Your Blood and making me Your Own.


My Love,