Transitioning

Transition. It’s almost become a dirty word to me. I’ve been stuck in “transitions” for the last 10yrs. Maybe longer but this particular one is taking its toll. We’ll get to how it all started 10yrs ago later but for now, I want to talk about the current one. 

It started about a year ago. It’s taken a few years for my pride to lesson enough to let people help me. Especially my folks. For so long my husband and I kept everything we went through extremely private and attempted everything on our own. Finally we let my folks in more. A little over a year ago my Mama was healed of stage IV breast cancer that had metastasized all over her body. That’s kinda how we got here. 

After her healing we slowly let them in more of how much I am struggling with my health. They stepped up, not only because she was better but in the year she was sick I found how much I love them and enjoyed their presence. That old saying that, you’ll hate your parents from around 14-22 is true. But if you’re fortunate enough they can become your closest friends and comfort. 

Now, about 5-6yrs ago my parents had become snowbirds. Spending 3-4 months at the ocean from Dec-March. This was good. We enjoyed the visit we would take down during this time. Before my Mama got sick, they’d talked about moving. That was a great idea, then. All that changed when she got sick, they decided to be snowbirds for the time. Then everything changed. She got better, I got worse. I needed and loved them being here so much. Mama on bad days just to be “here” and Dad taking me to all my doctors appointments because I didn’t need to drive. 

Then the last 8 months transpired. They kept saying they wanted to move to the ocean. I kept saying to do that they had to put their house up for sale. What was I thinking?? Lol. Their house sold within a couple of weeks and Sept 1st they were at the ocean. My latest transition started. I felt lost, my peace and joy gone. My husband and I were on our own again in this journey. 

Don’t get me wrong, we’re happy for their new journey. I just felt like things would never be normal again. Emotionally I’ve been holding it together with one bobby pin. It’s selfish, right? It’s just after almost losing her to cancer our relationships changed. I hate her & Dad not being 15mins away. The dog and I could run over. I miss my time bonding with my Dad. It took so long to get to this place with them. But I know God is still good. He will take care of me. 

For now, I’m enjoying the trips down to the ocean. Our relationships are moving to a different level. Plus I’m also getting to watch my youngest niece grow and change on these trips and visits. I couldn’t be more blessed. 

A Change Coming On.....

Today I woke up wanting change.
I don't want to be predictable.
Just like clothes. If you open my closest it's either blue, pink, or red.
Same style, basica same look. I started to think, I am I that cheap?? Or is it unwillingness to change when it's simple to use the same as always just in a different color.
I think it all started several weeks ago when I had to find a dress for the wedding.
I picked the brown polka dot dress with the lime green belt. I was so excited about that dress. It was shorter and much more showy than my norm. (not that it was inapropriate, just more than the usual for me).
My hubby gave me this weird look, and says, "Hmm...I don't know. If you like it, I like it." Seriously, why would I even bother asking at this rate??
So I tried my Momma and her response was, "It looks like you...." I guess that was ok, since she said the other dress I had brought home looked like Lucy from "I Love Lucy".
So I thought, "Baby Steps" and I went with a blog overhaul, twice in one day.
By the way, I have recieved more comments on the polka dot dress than I have in eons.
Every time Hubby sees the pictures from our trip, he says, "Baby, you looked "hot" in that dress."
I guess it was worth it, but I still want more change.

Tell me what you think, or what you would like to change yourself.