"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ~~Wisdom from Dr. Seuss:

8.01.2009

Is it just me.......

I slept in this morning for the first time in I don't know when. DH woke me up going through stuff in our "filing drawer". See, we sold the T-Bird he had when we met, and while he was off yesterday sick he didn't look for the title ect. until this morning around 9:45 when we had to go 30minutes away to the courthouse. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............why do men do this crap?? Is it just mine or does anyone else have this problem?? Ok, I understand he's sick. I should feel bad since I gave him the strep, BUT it doesn't matter if he's sick or not. It's ALWAYS last minute with him. Then when you're halfway to your destination he hits the steering wheel, (this let's me know he forgot something without saying so of course). This is a continuous re-occurring process when he does something. It irritates the beegeebees outta me.
Ok, back to the waking up late. So I asked him if he wanted me to go with him. "You don't have to, but if you want to......blah, blah, blah" Alright, enough already, just tell me you want me to go or not, I don't really care!!!!!!
So of course I go. He says as we're going towards the door, "Do you want to take the Jimmy or the car?" I'm thinking does it matter?? Just pick one, we're LATE!!! (The courthouse closes at 11 on Saturday, did I mention that?). As I am getting dressed I realize our bedroom looks like a tornado has gone through it and I ask, "Does this bedroom look like a Maria bedroom to you??" Response as he looks around the room, "Nooo...." looks up at me with deer in the headlight look. Then my questions is always, "How did it get this way?!?!"
I have been sick all week. I know I am grumpy. BUT while I was off those two days I did manage to run the dust, run the sweeper, and clean the fridge out, even though I felt like a Mack Truck and I had become close, close as in it running over me backing up and doing it again x 3. He on the other hand on a good day can't pick up his clothes that he takes off!!! The 5 pairs of shoes at the door?? His reasoning, "Well, I might need a pair".
As we are on the way back from the courthouse he ask, "what do you want to do with the rest of the day?" I said, "clean up the house since my fairy didn't come while I was at work". He says nothing.
I come into the house and I want to scream bloody murder. But I don't. I can feel it festering up inside of me. I start picking stuff up and realize it's his stuff. Papers, magazines, shoes, etc. So I quit because I start getting aggravated again at him. Then I think, I'll wash a load of clothes. I go to sort the clothes. He has 3 loads to my 1. How is this possible?? ***Big Sigh****
What has happened to me?? When I look at myself, I want to know what happen to that girl I use to be. Where did she go? What is she doing these days because she doesn't live in this body anymore. Heck, I don't even realize this body/blob.
I look around me and I don't even see anything in my home, or my life that resembles me. Or does it resemble this blob I see in the mirror daily?
I don't want to be a bad wife. I don't want to be a nagging wife either. I want him to have a nice home, that looks like he has a good wife. I want it to smell fresh and be clean. I don't have to have an immaculate looking home, just organized, clean. I can handle lived in, but ram sacked, no way. It's not as though I have any more time than he does. We work at the same place, ride the same distance, keep the same work hours.
Sorry, I know this is not my usual post but I am so frustrated. I will try better next post. I just had to get that out.

4 comments:

Becky said...

1st off, it's good that you got that off your chest~that helps.
2nd ~MEN are so different! They are not going to get all worked up about the same things you are. you are going to wear yourself out waiting for him to do what you want him to do. It is aggravating as heck, and something I think we ALL experience, and not to say that it is right!! But first off you've got to decide what is important to you. If have a clean house is number one to you than that is you...do you want to do it with a happy heart? Than choose that. Can you Make him want this too? Nope...but you can talk, and encourage, and go about doing what you want and hope that he helps.

Being the mom/wife/catch all is hard work. We all have days like this!!! Hang in there!!

♥georgie♥ said...

I'm working on the nagging as well...but of course I dont call it nagging at the time...I am sorry you have been sick...i hope you are better soon and that the sunshine smiles on you!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

when men are sick you have two options, you either shoot them or shoot yourself...lol

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I totally hear ya! It's hard to keep that balance w/men. My DH & I had this conversation (about me nagging him like a kid or letting him be) the other day ... it's never ending! Just stopping by from SITS to welcome you aboard. Have a great day.