"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ~~Wisdom from Dr. Seuss:

8.20.2010

Random Update

Ahhhhhh.........for the first time in weeks I can finally sit and try to post.
What a long journey these last 3 months have been.
We are still without a house, but we are getting close.  We have found one we both really like.
The orginal house from an earlier post, someone out bid us, but unfortunately for them, their loan fell thru.
At this time we've found something that is more us probably.
Just a 3 bedroom ranch, but it has a sun/florida room the full length of the back of the house.
We will see soon enough.  The lady who owns it, is moving out, so we would be able to move in quickly.

Finally getting adjusted to the new job at work.  I like it a lot better than where I was.  Of course it has things that I miss from the old one, but I love the lady I work with and sometimes that is ALOT!!
I am sure when I get back in a routine you will be hearing more about Ms Linda.

Since the post in July I have started making a lot of changes within myself.  Something just woke up in me I guess, and decided I didn't want to be that way anymore.  Oh, I know I can't change everything, but attitude is so much of how we are.  Mine had gone sour, and then some.  I just decided it was time to be me.
I have to be honest and say that some do not like the changes.  Although they are not drastic, it is hard on people when you no longer let them control you.  Be it what you do, how you act, how you respond, or what you are.  Everyday I get up with a smile, and there it is.  Everyone else can get over it, lol.
Life is too short not to enjoy it.  I am only 33 and it's time I start acting and looking it.  Not 80.  (No offense to anyone 80 or over, I'm just not there yet)  You have two choices in life, hang on to things, or let them go.  Sometimes you can't survive unless you let them go.  I couldn't remember a time in my life I hadn't been an adult.  My Momma will even tell you she's talked to me like one since I was 3. 

Yesterday I went to see my new OB/GYN again.  Mrs. Smith just hasn't wanted to leave since about June.
He did two ultrasounds yesterday and scheduled me for a little exploratory surgery and D & C today.
I guess we have finally found the cause of my miscarrying so much.  I have two uteruses.  One is smaller than the other of course, but it still causes my pregnancy to be short.  Good to know after all this time, right?
My Momma is relieved.  Me I am no longer sure.  I wanted a baby for so long.  Now I have to ask was it me who wanted it, or did I want it for Dave and Momma?  I don't know anymore.  I don't know if it's the roller coaster I've been on for so long that I decided to take a break from, or if I truly don't want any.
I do have 2 younger brothers, a dog, and a DH, do I need the extra?? lol.
Ok, so maybe that wasn't too funny, but honestly.  It's something to think about for now.
Whatever God's plan is, is what I'll go with.  For now, until everything is resolved, I'm going on the pill to help regulate, and see about reconstructive surgery. 

Whew, that was a lot today!!
Now I am going to try and get caught up on all of you!!!


Maybe next week, I will get back into my normal weekly routine.


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

<<>> Luv U!!! Wish you were in KC right now. We could go do the Amish countryside and get your mind off things. Hang in there. Thinking of you. -DeAnna

KAM said...

Wow. I can't believe you are just now finding out you have 2 uteruses. You would think they would have noticed that way before now.

I wish you everything you want and then some! And I think it's ok to take a break and let yourself figure out what you want. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Hang in there!

Sarah said...

I hope everything works out for you the way it should and I am sure that it will. That is a lot to deal with lately but you come across as a very strong woman.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Gee, you have come to quite a few conclusions. good for you. answers mean peace of mind. I was thinking this very morning that I want to be a happy person again. How do i get there. how do i let go...

Taylor said...

Yay for a house!

I'm glad to hear you are going to go with the flow. It's not easy I'm sure but if anyone can do it, you can!

♥Georgie♥ said...

I think handing it over to God is a great thing...he does have a plan for all of us...

♥Georgie♥ said...

just stopping by to check on you...had you on mind lately and hope you are doing okay....huggers

Jane said...

Wow! A new house sounds really good. I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I also have a reproductive problem, but God blessed me with a beautiful daughter despite the fact that I had fertlity problems. If you trust His will, I am sure that everything will turn out well for you and your family. Keep the faith!