"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." ~~Wisdom from Dr. Seuss:

7.24.2010

Cry Baby

It seems I can't find the time to keep this up at this point.
So many reasons.
Every day I feel like it's just more and more drama over taking me and my life.
The last few months has been such a trial in it's self.
The flood, losing everything.
Losing another baby just a few weeks before that.
Family issues that I can't even start to go into.
All has left me wondering what has happened to me?

This weekend we are at Mom's staying with Nan while she and Dad are gone on a much needed mini vacation.  As I was fixing DH something to eat, I was at the fridge I looked up at all the pictures Momma has put up from over the years.
I look up and see this girl.  Who is she???  She looks fimiliar, but do I know her??
As I felt the tears start flowing down my face I realized it was me, happy.
I stood there wondering what happened to that girl?
Why has life been so tragic?  How did I end up here?  How do I fix this?
I go around looking happy, acting happy to make everyone else happy.
What about me??  How do I make me happy again?
I know there are worse situations.  People with harder way to go than me today.
Doesn't make me want to be happy anyless.
I know I must sound like a cry baby.  Can't help it, it's how I felt lately.
Since I can't tell everyone I know, why not here to people I don't? LOL.

I wanna be the carefree spunky girl I use to be.

That is my cry for the day...............


8 comments:

KAM said...

I so know what you're talking about. Life has a way of just punching us in the gut and then when you think you're feeling a little better, along comes another sucker punch. Ugh. Hang in there.

Hugs,
Kerry

Sue B said...

My Sweet Baby Girl @ heart...... my tears are for you today. I understand more than you'll ever know.

My heart cries out for you and my prayers go up for you.

I know the brick walls you keep running into. If you look at the dents that are about 6 ft up, those are mine. I made them back when I could run freely. Those that are about 4 1/2 foot, well those are from the past 26 yrs, 3 months and and 13 days. And in high gear, I can make a pretty good dent with this ole hard head of mine.

I look at my pics and I see the smile on my lips and the laughter in my eyes. I look in the mirror, and I have no clue who the woman is that stares back at me. There is no happiness to be seen.

Sometimes I think I am the greatest actress there ever was. I look around at all of the people I fool everyday with my act,

Had I not lost my baby, 'it' would have been 29.

Life can be cruel. The cards you are dealt are not always winners.
But we smile, ante up, and play another round.

Cause we know, come one day, we'll leave this ole world behind. There'll be no more pain, no more sadness, no more loosing hands!!

Faith, Hope, & Love are what keep me going.

Love You!!
Aunti Sue

Mattie said...

Maria,

Yes, so much in the past few months. Shouldn't be happening, yet it does and I can't stop it. That's really cheery, huh? I share your pain, just don't know what to do but pray for y'all. ONly thing left--well, actually the first and only thing I know to do.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I wonder everyday if I am lost never to be found again. My life like many has gotten dark within my heart and mind. I wish I could say something that could take away the pain. Hope tomorrow will bring a bit of sunshine in your life.

Marie said...

I'm so sorry that you are feeling down :o( The best advice I can give is to take each day one at a time.

Try to live every day to it's fullest. We all have down days, it's hard, but we have to pick ourselves up and carry on through the tough times.

I know you will find your way through this! :o)

Taylor said...

So sorry you are feeling this way. I hope you can catch a break soon, you really deserve one!

♥Georgie♥ said...

I am crying with you-I could have wrote this post myself...if you need to vent or just wanna visit...I am but an email away!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I don't recognize or like the person I am today. If I were to walk around the way I really feel people would be very upset because it would make them feel uneasy.
life goes on and just drags me along while I get hung up on one thing or another. you are not alone....