Shopping Always Makes a Girl Feel Better

Doesn't it?  I'll be honest, I really don't enjoy shopping all that much.  I'm one of those when I do, I pick it up, walk all the way around the store and put it back.  Why is that exactly??  Since we've moved into the house I've had to do a lot of shopping.  I told DH it's like getting married all over again, except the fun part is missing, lol.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean that exactly in a bad way, BUT when you and your dearest hubby have been in very tight quarters for 4 months, and you're not sure when you are going to find a  home, well......... moving on, enough said.
So, I've had to buy everything from soap to furniture.  I have really enjoyed buying furniture, it's all the little stuff I hate.  Even shopping for clothes.  My latest task has been finding bedding for our new bedroom suite that arrived Friday morning, yay!!  It is beautiful!

The next task was finding bedding for it.  Originally I wanted this black damask bedding, which so does not go with it.  I have looked high and low for something to go with it, and "our house".  You know everyone really has a style or look.  I've just never figured out how to classify mine.  Anyways, I bought this today......

Yes, I love it.  It even looks great on the bed.  I also bought pillows but not enough I found.  They had those nice pillows for 60% off at JC Penney today.  What a deal that was.  I have our guest bedroom now to work on as far as bedding.  I bought a bed, it actually looks somewhat similar to this one, but it's rounded at the top instead of straight.  It's less than a week until Kathryn is here with me for my birthday.  Oh yes, how lovely to be turning 34.  I don't mind it really.  I never thought I would live to see 35, if I have another year like this one, I'm guessing I won't.  Anyways, she will be here on Friday.  We are going to head over to The Glitz

for tea and then on over to Keeneland to check things out.  Keeneland is a horse track here in Ky.  Even though I am not a gambler, nor encourage anyone to be, you really should go for the experience and to see the grounds.  It is breath taking.  

We are really looking forward to that.  Hopefully the weather will stay good.  Although it has rained that weekend every year for as long as I can remember.  I am loving this fall weather though.  It is so dry here the leaves are barely changing other than brown.  We need rain!! 

Hello Saturday

and how are you??  Have I mentioned how much I love you?  How much I long for you the other 5 days before you?  This morning you and I have enjoyed shopping online in my pajamas while drinking caramel drizzle coffee. You have listened to what I want to listen to on the radio and absolutely NO talk radio going on in this house today.  DH was so good to us, not waking us and going deer hunting today.  God love him.
So Saturday, it's me and you baby.
I'm going to abuse you and use you and cry when you are gone...........


Hope you enjoy your weekend!!

There Was A Guy

I met him my freshman year of high school through a mutual friend.

He was attending college in our little Podunk town. 

I remember the first time I met him.  He had a smile like no one else. It was infectious. 

He could light up a room with it, and make you smile when you wanted to cry or scream.

He quickly became a part of everyday life it seems.

Before I knew it 4yrs had passed.  School was out, and life began. 

He never left, no matter what. 

We saw lots of friends come and go.  Good dates, bad dates.  Funny stories. 

There wasn't one thing I would have ever held back from telling him. 

We shared secrets, hopes and dreams. 

He took me places.  Come got me in the middle of the night from places I shouldn't have been.

He talked to me in the middle of the night after my ex-husband left. 

We learned no matter how small the drop of Dawn NEVER put it in a dishwasher. 

When my Momma was sick with breast cancer, He held me every night while I cried myself to sleep. 

We cooked together, and played together. 

We shared inside stories and jokes.  

He taught me to love myself and how to let others love me. 

He encouraged me every day to do and be everything I wanted to be, never letting down. 

He was the first person I called when we found out I was pregnant.

He was the first person I called when I lost her. 

I called Him when they told me they thought I was in stage IV bladder cancer 2yrs ago. 

He promised He would be there, no matter what.

On Labor Day, on the way home from Indiana, I received a call. 

Jeff was gone.

I have lost my Dad, and an Uncle that was like a Dad, but it didn't prepare me for this.

DH had to pull over and let me out.  It had to be a bad dream, a joke. It wasn't. 

The next few days brought several emotions, but mostly anger.  

At myself.  For more reasons than I could list. 

I sit in a funeral home listening to a man who knew nothing about Him talk, wishing he would just shut up. 

I got more upset the longer I sat there.  It's the first time I wanted to hurt a preacher.  

I finally understood why people want to throw themselves or climb in a casket with someone. 

I wanted to shake him and wake him up.  Beg him to tell me it wasn't true.

I kissed him "hello" when I came in and "good-bye" going out, as to our ritual.

I went home, went to bed and started the next day as usual.  As well as the next, and the next. 

Then I woke up Sunday before last and that little routine was over. 

I have barely stopped crying since.

I know its not good but I can't make myself take his numbers out of my phone. 

Every time I see his name I want to call.   

DH is concerned I will never get over this.  

I told him grief has to come and it will go.  I am starting to wondering myself today.    

One of the last conversations we had was about time getting away and how we needed to make more time to spend together.  I was telling him how much I missed him and I hope he never doubted how much I loved him.  He told me not to worry He knew and that true love and friendships between people continues to grow stronger never diminishing with distance or time.  I sat on the bed and cried wishing the distance away at that moment. 

He is right.  True love & friendships never diminish.  They only grow stronger with time.  

Thank You Jeff.  

For all the yesterdays we had, and everything you taught me.

For the "secret" plan we had, we should have went through with.

For all the memories I have here with me forever in my heart & mind. 

For the friendship and love that will never diminish with time. 

I Love You, For Always,

Welcome Home.....

House, check......new bed to sleep in, check..........living room furniture to sit on, check........Finally INTERNET!!!!  Not to mention my own dishes!  Yeah, I am a happy girl again!!!
We moved into the house a week ago today.  Whew!  Over 4 months without a home of your own, well it's just not good let me tell you.  DH is still alive I am happy to say, although I think there is some scaring.
It's been amazing to go from about 250sq ft to 2400sq ft, lol.
I have really enjoyed shopping for new furniture.  Oh my, DH says too much when I went a little crazy in one day.  I still have to wait on part of it, but that's ok.
We're in a very small town.  Everyone knows everyone.  We have been lucky we have great neighbors, but they already know "our story" before they come to greet us.

This is our first night with internet, so now I have to start catching up on all the blogs I follow!!!
More info to come on the house.

Random Update

Ahhhhhh.........for the first time in weeks I can finally sit and try to post.
What a long journey these last 3 months have been.
We are still without a house, but we are getting close.  We have found one we both really like.
The orginal house from an earlier post, someone out bid us, but unfortunately for them, their loan fell thru.
At this time we've found something that is more us probably.
Just a 3 bedroom ranch, but it has a sun/florida room the full length of the back of the house.
We will see soon enough.  The lady who owns it, is moving out, so we would be able to move in quickly.

Finally getting adjusted to the new job at work.  I like it a lot better than where I was.  Of course it has things that I miss from the old one, but I love the lady I work with and sometimes that is ALOT!!
I am sure when I get back in a routine you will be hearing more about Ms Linda.

Since the post in July I have started making a lot of changes within myself.  Something just woke up in me I guess, and decided I didn't want to be that way anymore.  Oh, I know I can't change everything, but attitude is so much of how we are.  Mine had gone sour, and then some.  I just decided it was time to be me.
I have to be honest and say that some do not like the changes.  Although they are not drastic, it is hard on people when you no longer let them control you.  Be it what you do, how you act, how you respond, or what you are.  Everyday I get up with a smile, and there it is.  Everyone else can get over it, lol.
Life is too short not to enjoy it.  I am only 33 and it's time I start acting and looking it.  Not 80.  (No offense to anyone 80 or over, I'm just not there yet)  You have two choices in life, hang on to things, or let them go.  Sometimes you can't survive unless you let them go.  I couldn't remember a time in my life I hadn't been an adult.  My Momma will even tell you she's talked to me like one since I was 3. 

Yesterday I went to see my new OB/GYN again.  Mrs. Smith just hasn't wanted to leave since about June.
He did two ultrasounds yesterday and scheduled me for a little exploratory surgery and D & C today.
I guess we have finally found the cause of my miscarrying so much.  I have two uteruses.  One is smaller than the other of course, but it still causes my pregnancy to be short.  Good to know after all this time, right?
My Momma is relieved.  Me I am no longer sure.  I wanted a baby for so long.  Now I have to ask was it me who wanted it, or did I want it for Dave and Momma?  I don't know anymore.  I don't know if it's the roller coaster I've been on for so long that I decided to take a break from, or if I truly don't want any.
I do have 2 younger brothers, a dog, and a DH, do I need the extra?? lol.
Ok, so maybe that wasn't too funny, but honestly.  It's something to think about for now.
Whatever God's plan is, is what I'll go with.  For now, until everything is resolved, I'm going on the pill to help regulate, and see about reconstructive surgery. 

Whew, that was a lot today!!
Now I am going to try and get caught up on all of you!!!


Maybe next week, I will get back into my normal weekly routine.

I just realized my blogging is getting shorter, and the amount of time I am taking for it the same.
I can't find the time to breathe right now it seems let alone blog.
I could update, but there is too much to tell.
I can't catch up with everyone elses blogs, because the thingy is so full!!!
I will though, eventually.